


Every Hit I Take

by Roses and Rum (fawnspotsam)



Series: Frerard AU [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Drug Use, Drugs, M/M, Sexual Content, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-06
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 11:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fawnspotsam/pseuds/Roses%20and%20Rum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way is sent to rehabilitation for alcohol and drug abuse. He is sure he'll just be kicked right out because of unco-operative behaviour. But, that's until he saw the boy.<br/>The black and dyed red hair that he makes look so formal, the tattoos that cover his body, the lip peircing so cold it could give you frost bite. Frank Iero was his name.<br/>All Gerard wanted was to have him, but he's kept back.<br/>He already has the best boyfriend in the world waiting for him at home.<br/>Will Gerard lose his self control and go for it?<br/>Well, OBVIOUSLY!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

I glared at my little brother as he looked at me in disgust. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked with a sigh, referring to my daily habits.  
"Fuck off!" I slurred. What kind of teenaged boy would turn down alcohol? Let alone drugs.  
Mikey cringed. "Gerard, I'm bringing you home!" He argued. I rolled my eyes.  
I didn't normally bring him along like this. I just hung out around a bar or when I'm at home, if no one was around, I would pull out a vodka bottle.  
Mikey just made this no fun. That's what the kid does. He just studies on stupid high school shit. He's one of the _pure boys_ who never does anything wrong in their life.  
I felt Mikey grab my arm and shove me up the alley, toward the main road.  
I felt too intoxicated to fight, my vision was a little laggy. All I did was curse at him all the way home.

I woke up on my bed. I grabbed my aching head. That's the one downside to alcohol-the hangover. I shoved one hand in my jeans pocket, hoping one of my vials of crystal would turn up.  
I grinned as I felt the tiny vial hit my finger. I brought it into view as I weakly sat up. The splitting head ache would flutter away like a butterfly once I take in the sweetest sugar.  
Before I could inhale much, Mikey knocked as he slowly opened the door. His slow pace gave me time to hide my medicine.  
"Hey, Gee?" Mikey whispered.  
"What do you want?" I snapped, looking over at Mikey on the other side of my room.  
"Bert's over." He said. Bert's my best friend. Other than the fuckhead, Mikey who I call my brother.  
"Then send him in instead of making me look at you." I snapped, angrily. I was definitely not in the mood to be nice. But, I kind of regretted snapping like that after I saw the look on Mikey's face; his lips forming a slight frown along with his eye brows drooping a little. I heard a small mumble outside my door before Bert walked in.  
He waited until the loud creaks of the stairs stopped before he spoke. Yes, my room is in the basement.  
"Hey, Gerard." He said, jumping onto my bed next to me.  
"Hi." I said quietly.  
"Whoa, did you drink last night?" He asked. I nodded.  
"Why; do I smell?" I asked, sniffing the collar of my--nope, no shirt. That's great.  
"No, you're just a bit quieter than usual." He said, placing one hand on my shoulder. I felt a little weird like this. I felt like I was on display and Bert was checking my price. Well, to any of you I would sound weird to think that whenever someone touches my shoulder, but it's not that. I felt awkward because I knew Bert was gay.  
Come to think of it,I'm actually still not sure about myself. I'm still attracted to women, but I think some men are attractive.  
"Just a bit of a hangover." I said, pushing aside my thoughts. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.  
"Alright. Mind if I light up?" He asked, pulling out a cigarette.  
"Mind if I tweak out?" I replied. He half smiled and lit his cigarette. I pulled out my crystal vial that was hidden underneath my pillow.  
The room spun slowly as I took my first, small dose. I relaxed as the pain faded away and all that was left was an enjoyable high I received as I took in the last of the treatment.  
I inhaled the also wonderful scent of the cigarette smoke. I grinned at the "two" Berts I saw beside me. After a moment, my dizziness faded and I found Bert closing the precious personal space between us. Before I could show panic in any way, he whispered my name.  
"I've got your birthday present." He said, playfully. I rolled my eyes. Yeah, my birthday was about 10 months ago. And-  
His lips brushed against mine. He semi-forced me into a lying position as he deepened the kiss. I enjoyed this somehow, and let his tongue, which had begun licking my lip, into my mouth, allowing him to explore.  
Bert's legs stradled my waist and his hands dug into my hair. "Gerard," Bert whispered, leaning away. I groaned. He said with a smile, "Are you sure you aren't gay?"  
I grinned. "Totally." I joked. He chuckled and returned to my lips.  
I felt his warm tongue come out from his lips, sliding along mine asking for entrance again. I gave him a warm welcome and smiled. I just hope no certain fuckheads came into my room right now.  
I moaned as Bert ran his fingers over my bare chest. "Bert," I breathed. He lifted away from my lips and sat over my upper thighs gently, his hands still scanning my chest. I then noticed the weirdness of our genitals alligning. Even after our romantic interaction just now, I felt uncomfortable being in this position.  
Bert's warm hands wandered around my much unwanted baby fat around my stomach. He stopped when his hand made contact with the waistband of my jeans.  
"Bert, we can't go that far." I warned, putting my left hand on his.  
He frowned and slid his hand away.  
He just simply laid back down on me. He rested his head on my chest and closed his eyes.  
I smiled and rolled my eyes as I felt his hand running up the back of my thigh.  
I put my arms around his waist. "Not now." I half whispered. He tilted his head upwards and kissed my neck.  
I smiled, then moaned as Bert began nipping at the skin. I felt his lips crease upwards at the sound and continued.  
"Has 'now' passed yet?" He whispered, his lips sliding against my skin as he spoke. I smiled and bit my lip.  
"No, but you can continue what your doing." I encouraged.  
Bert began kissing my neck again. "If I do,"-a kiss to my jaw-"the temptation will win me over."  
"We'll just see." I replied. He smiled and began nipping at my neck again. I moaned and prayed to God his temptation would win him over.  
My prayer was answered.


	2. "You're Quitting"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's mother finds his stash of drugs.

I lay there on.. the carpet? I turned my head and saw Bert laying next to me. When did we get on the floor?  
I felt a tickle up my leg. I grinned; Bert was awake. His arm wrapped over my waist.  
"Good morning." I glanced at my window which was almost impossible to find. It was dark out.  
"Good evening." I corrected. He chuckled. He shifted and his body was laying directly next to me. He leaned his head on mine; his lips at my ear.  
He began nibbling on my earlobe. I smiled. His hand started exploring my chest again. Only then did I realize my body pains.  
My head was throbbing and my ass hurt. But the pain was nearly gone when Bert touched me.  
Bert kissed my neck and I stopped his hand with mine.  
"What the hell are we going to say? It's really late." I said. I had never talked about my sexual orientation. With anyone.  
Bert sat up silently. "We could say 'fuck off' to anyone who asks." He suggested. I chuckled and sat up.  
"Works for me."

After I let Bert use our shower, he took off. It was actually 5:30 in the morning when we woke up.  
I now sat at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in my hands. Mikey waved quietly when he walked into the kitchen, sticking his head into the refrigerator.  
He shrugged and popped his head out again. I shook the carton of milk in the air towards him. He chuckled and took it from my hand.  
"Soo... What's up?" He asked as he made himself a cup of coffee... Make that two cups of coffee. I grinned. "Did you bring someone home last night?" I teased, eying the extra cup.  
"SHH!" He hissed.  
"Oh, is she still here?" I continued. He glared at me. I chuckled.  
"Mom's awake. Don't say that stuff out loud!" He whined. I grinned.  
"So, there _is_ a girl." I teased again. He glared at me and walked out into the hallway with both cups of coffee.  
After breakfast, our mother made me drive Mikey and his 'study partner' to school.  
Her name was Alicia. They had apparently fallen asleep studying. I wonder what _they_ were studying. Wow, that sounded so cliché.  
"See you." I said as they both got out of the car. I watched as they split up to different directions after a hug.  
I eyed the boy Mikey walked over to.  
He had black hair with the sides dyed dark red. He was wearing a Misfits hoodie so I assumed he didn't even go to Mikey's school.  
I stepped on the gas as soon as I broke off my stare. When I hit the red light on the corner, I spotted a forgotten textbook on my passenger seat. I rolled my eyes. "Idiot." I muttered.  
"GERARD ARTHUR WAY!" I heard my mother scream at the top of her lungs as I walked through the front door. She only called me by my full name when she was really, really pissed off.  
I eyed the fist she made towards me. Trapped inside was my cocaine vial! Busted...  
"Yeah," I answered nonchalantly. She scowled.  
"Why did I find this in your room?" She growled. Okay, what is the point of asking that question?  
"Because you were snooping around my personal property." I snapped.  
"Is this the result of being friends with that boy, Bert?" She screeched. She seemed to me as if she was steaming from the ears like a cartoon.  
Okay, it is my choice to take them! Leave Bert out of this!  
"It's not Bert. For your information I had those even before I met Bert!" I defended Bert.  
"You are grounded and you are forbidden to see Bert!" As she set the commandments of Donna Way, I rolled my eyes and started past her, down the hall.  
"See you." I muttered, before I walked down the stairs to the basement. She stayed silent. Why? Because she had a piece of mind in me going to my room.  
I walked in, and found it swept clean. Not in the hygienic type of way, the drug type. I darted to my desk drawer. I opened it and removed its contents. My envelopes of cocaine were gone!  
I snapped my head up; phone rang. I picked up the cordless receiver on my desk.  
"Hello?" I answered, walking over to my bed.  
"Hey, Gee." It was Bert. I smiled. I definitely needed to hear him right now.  
"Hey, what's up?" I asked, running my hand under the bed. I may have left something under there. I groaned. Nothing.  
"Gerard?"  
"Yeah." I jumped up onto my bed.  
"What's wrong?"  
"How do you do that?" I whined.  
"I'm psychic. Now, what's wrong?" He repeated.  
"If your psychic, you would know."  
"My powers are limited." He excused himself. I smiled to myself.  
"My mom found my stuff." I said. He laughed.  
"Oh my God! What did she do?" He asked, still a hint of laughter in his voice.  
"She actually grounded me and I am now 'forbidden to see you'." I said, mimicking my mother's voice. He giggled.  
"Well, I 'won't' see you later around 8:00, okay?" I joked.  
"My house?"  
"Of course."  
"Bye."  
"Bye, bye."  
We hung up and I dropped back onto my bed.  
I had nothing to do. My mother took all my stuff. I lazily picked myself back up and went back to my desk.  
My memory flashed to Bert and I started sketching his face.  
Halfway through my drawing, my head started throbbing. I dropped my pencil and grabbed my head. I groaned.  
I had to get something.  
I left my room and headed up to the kitchen. Luckily, my mother wasn't there.  
I looked through the cupboards until I came across a jar of coffee grains. Caffeine? Sounds good.  
My mother walked into the kitchen after about fifteen minutes later.  
"Hello, Gerard." She said.She was pretty mad at me.  
I stayed silent but nodded my head. The coffee was a good substitute. The head ache was faded and I felt almost as good as with the drug high.  
"Gerard, you need to go to rehab." She said. I rolled my eyes.  
"Rehab is where you go when you quit." I said.  
"You're quitting." She snarled.  
"You're just sending me to rehab to make sure I don't get influenced by Bert, right?" She stayed silent which was her way of saying yes. "Go ahead. I believe they still have phones over there in hell." I added.  
My mother was surely enraged at this point. Oh, fuck it. I could probably be able to sneak out to get or smuggle in drugs in rehab. Just to get away from this bitch.  
Later on in the day, I was packing a few things to bring with me to my trip to rehab.  
I stared at a picture of me and Bert that we took at a Smashing Pumpkins concert. I half smiled and took it out of the frame. I held it in front of me.  
It was before I entered the drug world. I noticed I had no black lines under my eyes like now. The drugs usually kept me awake. I sighed and slid the picture into a pocket of the suitcase.  
The phone rang and I picked up the cordless.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey, did I leave a book in your car?" Mikey asked on the other end.  
"Yeah. Why; do you need it?" I asked.  
"No, I'm just checking." He said sarcastically. I smiled.  
"I'm on house arrest. I'll see you in a few years after I bust outta prison. Okay?" I said.  
"Did Mom kill you yet?"  
"She found my stuff and now I'm being forgotten by the world." I explained. I sighed, I probably won't be seeing anyone I know for a long time.  
It was almost the end of the school year, so I'd probably get a phone call or two in from Mikey.  
"Alright. Do you think you can bring my book in?" Mikey asked.  
"No. Share with Alicia." I teased. He whined. He gave in and hung up because the bell rang.  
I dropped on the bed. What could I do until I sneak out against my mother's wishes, completely defying her authority?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 and 4 will be up soon. :)  
> I hope people like the story XD Please comment. ^_^


	3. The Last Night

I decided to call Bert. I sat up, grabbed the phone and dialed his number.  
" _Hello?_ " Bert answered after two rings.  
"Hey, Bert. It's me." I said.  
" _Uh, oh. Are you dying already?_ " he asked.  
"Oh my fucking God, how do you do that?" I whined, dropping onto my back. I grunted and squirmed awkwardly. I had landed on a pen.  
" _I'm psychic._ " Bert joked. I smiled. " _What do you need?_ " He asked. I waited a second. I needed reassured that I would hang out with him again.  
"Uh... I guess I just wanted to say 'hi'." I said.  
" _Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you in a little bit._ " Bert said. Huh?  
I looked at my clock. It was already 7:30 PM! I must have fallen asleep.  
We hung up and I checked that I had enough clothes in my suitcase before I zipped it up again.  
I avoided contact with my mother as I left the house silently.  
Bert lived a bit far from our house, so I decided to drive. Good thing, too. It had started to rain on the way there.  
I hit a red light and idly to a random beat. It was a busy intersection so this would be a while. I looked out the window. My gaze wandered to the side walk and guess what I saw:  
Mikey and Alicia. Heh, "study partners", they were cuddling on the bench in the bus shelter! I looked to the left and I saw the guy Mikey had walked up to earlier at school. They were friends, I guess. Which is normally impossible. Mikey would never been friends with that kid. He's too.. punk.  
First of all, he was smoking! I would've thought Mikey would have wrote him off there. A sleeve was rolled up to show an armful of tattoos. Well, it was either tattoos or a wonderful mess in Art class.  
The punk-tattoo kid caught my stare and we were in an eye lock. A staring contest; whoever blinks first loses.  
The light turned green after about a minute. The game was left as a tie.  
I parked my car in the driveway at Bert's house. He had had his own place fro a few months now. Not much; just a one bedroom and one bathroom bungalow.  
I knocked twice before I opened the front door. Bert, being Bert, never locks his door no matter how many times I tell him he might get robbed. I just knocked twice whenever I came over for courteousy.  
"Bert?" I called as I closed-and locked- the door behind me.  
"My room!" He answered from his bedroom, evidently.  
I walked down the hall passing the open kitchen and the right-hand door to the bathroom with the bedroom door across from it.  
"Can I come in?" I asked, considering the closed door.  
"Yes, I'm just too lazy to open the door." Bert said. I sighed, smiling and rolled my eyes. I opened the door to find him laying belly-down on his bed, his eyes glued to the TV set. I smiled and slid onto his bed right next to him. He leaned his head on my shoulder and we watched a bit of pointless SpongeBob Squarepants.  
At the commercial between programmes, Bert lifted his head from my shoulder and turned to me. I looked at him, leaning my head on my fist. I opened my mouth to make some stupid remark about SpongBob's backwards shirt, but I stopped when I saw Bert's face. He had an unusually serious expression on his face.  
"Gerard," Bert began, locking me in his gaze. I was frozen but his sudden seriousness, so I all I could really do was grunt ti show he had my attention. "You're leaving tomorrow?" He asked.  
I suddenly exhaled. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. "Morning." I said. Where was he getting at?  
He looked away, eying a loose string on his comforter he had been playing with for a while. "Well, what I'm trying to say is.. I don't know when I'm actually going to see you again." He admitted. I smiled. He's so cute to miss me. But, it's not like I'm going to prison, I'm going to rehab. I'll probably even be kicked out for being unco-operative.  
I placed my arm around his neck to bring us closer together. Bert looked up and strangely enough, he looked genuinely sad. I've never seen him sad before. I had never seen him with a frown on his face before. Except for a playful pout he puts on when he wants something.  
"Don't worry. I'll be out as soon as I can." I reassured him.  
He looked into my eyes carefully, as if looking for a lie. He glanced down to my lips and back to my eyes and put on my favourite pout. I smiled, knowing what he wanted.  
Bert leaned into my lips, and I felt his arm sliding its way around my waist. Our lips met and I felt him smile against my lips.  
Wow, twice in 24 hours, it might actually be a record.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 will be up soon. I hope you liked this chapter. :)


	4. Frank "Punk" Iero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard meets Frank.  
> Gerard checks into Rehab.  
> ...This is a really crap summary...

I groaned and covered my head with the pillow. "Gerard, it's about 6:00 AM. You should get home before you're filed as a missing person." Bert joked. I lifted the pillow and opened my eyes.  
Bert's eyes met mine as he lay there next to me. I smiled. "Good morning to you, too." He smiled back at me.

I quickly found myself back in my car, driving back home.

I walked up to the porch, and reached for the door knob with my keys.  
Before I could even get the key in, the door opened.  
"Gerard?" Mikey mumbled, a confused look on his face.  
"Hi. Don't ask... _Watcha' doin'_?" I asked teasingly as I walked in.  
Instead of Alicia, who I had expected, I saw that punk kid sitting in my recliner in the living room. I noticed he had a hell of a lot of tattooes; one of which I was interested in. The word "Halloween" was printed in orange across his fingers.  
I silently waved at him, bringing my eyes to his face for once. He had shiny black hair and a slim face, black studs on both ears and a lip peircing on the left side of his lower lip. Wow- one day this kid is going to be struck by lightning with all that metal.  
He waved back silently, seeming to be studying me, as well.  
"Gerard, this is Frank. Frank, Gerard." Mikey said, gesturing to full-metal-emo and me in turn.  
"Hello." I said.  
"Hi." He practically whispered. He seemed nervous, taking out the emotion on his thumb nail. I usually do the same thing when I'm nervous.  
I quickly looked him over again. Mikey was just a preppy kid who never did anything against the rules; and suddenly now he's friends with this punk kid?  
I had only realized now that he had stood up for a handshake. I felt blood rush up to my cheeks.  
I lent him my right hand, nervously. "Nice to meet you, p-Frank." I stammered, almost calling him my "nickname" for him. He chuckled lightly to himself and sat back down on my recliner. I sat across from him on the boring one-seater.  
"So, Mikey tells me your going to rehab. What for?" He asked. I chuckled. I'm surprised that Mikey hasn't already told him.  
"Crystal, alcohol... Common stuff." I said nonchalantly.  
He smiled, but not at the fact that I was on drugs. It seemed like a nervous and slightly sympathetic smile.  
"What?" I asked.  
"Frank's dad runs the rehab centre Mom checked you into." Mikey answered. I nodded in understanding.  
"Suck-up," I muttered. "Bye." I said, quickly standing up. Before I left the room to the kitchen, Frank stopped me.  
"He's not a suck-up." Frank defended my baby brother. I barely paid any attention to his words. My eyes just focused on Frank's hand that now rested on my chest. It reminded me of those old movies where the woman would stop a man from leaving or whatever by pressing against the man's chest.  
"Wanna move your hand just a bit? Really, even the arm is fine." I joked, calmly, hiding my nervousness well for once.  
Pu- _Frank_ slid--yes, _slid_ , not lifted-- his hand over my shoulder onto my forearm. I let out the breath I had been subconsciously holding.  
"Uh... sorry.. Nice to meet you." I mumbled, brushing of his hand and hurried down to my bedroom.  
I couldn't sleep at all after that. Sure, it was almost 7:00 AM, but I wasn't due at Hell On Earth 'til 9:00.  
I gave up on sleeping and slid out of bed. I sighed and sat in my desk chair and began tapping my pencil quietly against a drawing of Bert I had been working on. My mouth twisted to the side in thought as I stared down at the paper. I pushed the paper aside and laid out a fresh sheet.  
My fingers moved swiftly across the sheet, doing what they do best--well, in this area...heh... Um, _ahem_ , carrying on:  
I dropped my pencil and ran my fingers through my hair in an aggravated manner. I couldn't get Frank out of my head! What sat before me on my desk was a sketch of Frank on my recliner. I groaned an leaned back on my chair.  
After a few minutes which felt like hours I decided to tear away from outlining Frank's "Halloween" tattoo.  
I had breakfast with a side of 3 coffees. _Hey, I needed it!_  
My mother dragged me to the car when I had to leave. The drive was the most long-ass silent drive I've ever been on!  
It was 2 hours of dead silence until we parked and walked into the building. And I swear there were thick-as-hell bars on almost every window!  
"Gerard Way." My mom said to the receptionist in her fake cheerful voice she used when she spoke to anyone that's not family.  
"Okay, Mrs. Way, Frank will lead your son to his room." The receptionist said sweetly as she gestured to a man leaning against the counter on the far end, about 2 meters away. Frank turned around. It was punk-kid, Frank!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked :)  
> Comment please ^_^


	5. Curious

"Hi, Gerard." Frank said, waving. I nodded to him in greeting as he began to walk towards my mother and I. "Okay, I'll bring your son up to his room. You can leave, Mrs. Way." Frank spoke in a strangely un-appearance-suiting politeness.  
My mother just smiled warmly at him and walked away after patting my shoulder gently. I shrugged off the gesture and looked at Frank.  
"Hey, Frank." I almost whispered. It was strangely awkward.  
"Okay, up to your room." He said, gesturing to the elevators. I shrugged and followed, grabbing my one duffel bag and carrying over my shoulder.  
"You won't be sharing a room yet. The man who had been occupying this room has just recovered a few days ago." Frank explained. I chuckled.  
"I bet you say that to everyone." I joked. Frank smiled at me.  
After we reached the room, I set my bag on my twin sized bed, the head-splitting pain shot through my skull again. I grabbed my head and groaned.  
"Do you have a coffee machine, or something, around here?" I asked, remembering my last aid of withdrawl.  
Frank smiled. "Yeah, down the hall. Want me to get you a coffee?" He asked.  
"No, I want you to run there, touch it, and come back." I said sarcastically.  
Frank chuckled and left the room, leaving the door open.  
I lay on my bed, shoving my duffel towards the wall. I groaned, letting out my childish whines from my throat. I hated this!  
Hey, how long does it take to get a stupid cup of coffee?!  
As if on que, Frank appeared in the doorway with a steaming cup in his hand.  
I half-smiled and sat up. After a few seconds, he still stood in the doorway.  
"Okay, is that my coffee or an accessory?" I snapped. Frank flinched at my words and hurried over to my side.  
"I put two sugars and just a little milk." Frank noted as he handed the coffee to me.  
"Yay, you're psychic, too." I said, praising him on his "psychic abilities". He smiled nervously. I noticed a pink tint rising on the surface of his cheeks. I than noticed the small distance our faces were to each other.  
"Uh..." Frank mumbled, starting to bite his thumb nail as he stood up. I cleared my throat.  
"I guess I'll see you later." I said, eying my my coffee cup. Frank must have agreed in a physical gesture since he silently left the room.  
I didn't feel the pain as much after that but I still chugged the coffee down my throat.

The next day was my first rehab session. I stayed silent since I had no intention to participate in this group session bullshit.  
"Okay, thank you. Now, next is Mr. Way." The session instructor called on me, eying my Misfits sweatshirt.  
"Just carry on. I don't care." I muttered, flashing him a glare and brought my focus to the floor again.  
"Mr. Way, you all have to have a turn. That is the point of your being here." He said. I rolled my eyes.  
"No, there is no point of me being here. This is where they bring people who they can't stand anymore!" I shouted, jumping out of my chair. The guy looked genuinely frightened, which seemed weird seeing how he worked here. He must have a lot of people who don't co-operate much.  
"Okay, Mr. Way. You can take a seat now. We'll skip your turn." He said in a scratchy, freaked-out voice.  
After the stupid session, we were all sent back to our rooms. I made my way to a balcony I had spotted earlier on the _way_ to the session. I seriously need a cigarette.  
I too out a cigarette from a spare pack I carried. I cursed under my breath when I couldn't find my lighter.  
"Need a light?" Someone asked and I soon saw a hand with an orange "Hallo" on its fingers, holding a red lighter.  
I looked up--down-- at Frank and smiled. I took the lighter and lit up. "Why do you seem to appear any time to help me?" I asked, handing him back the lighter.  
"I'm just around. Call it coincidence, I guess." He shrugged. I smiled to myself.  
"So, what's your story? I mean, how did Mikey meet you?" I asked, remembering my curiousity.  
"Honestly, when I saw him and Alicia, I was thinking 'oh, shit, that girl's hot!' but then I actually talked to them and we became friends. It was actually at his school. I know a guy, John who goes there." Frank explained nonchalantly. I nodded and flicked away some ash. "Okay, my question now!" Frank squealled in excitement. I smiled.  
"If you don't mind, may I ask how you got on drugs?" Frank asked. I exhaled deeply. I hated that question. Mikey had asked me that many times before. I had always just ignored him or snapped at him with some sarcastic remark. But this time, I wanted to answer. I liked this guy.  
"I guess, 'cause I was an outcast in high school and shit. So in my loneliness and the fact that I didn't take it too well, I drove myself to drink and do drugs. Actually, I started smoking to try and be cooler--you, know, _that_ stupid idea-- but I ended up losing weigh easier so it turned into a habit. " I answered. I ended up babbling on about how hard it was for me in high school and how crappy it is here and I told him all about Bert. He seemed to be pretty at ease when I told him I was bisexal, which made him much cooler in my eyes.

"So, you really like Bert but you've been friends with him for, like, forever and you're a little freaked out about the change?" Frank asked. I nodded and put out my third cigarette.  
"Yeah, I guess. Why are you so interested in my relationships anyway?" I asked. We had moved the conversation to the bench where he had sat before he had offered his lighter.  
"No major reason. It just interests me." Frank said, seeming to reach for my hand but flinched and stopped himself. "I guess I feel for you. It's weird to go from friends to more." He said.  
"Really, what happened?" I asked, anxiously.  
"Well, it was great, but then-" He paused and studied my expression for a second. "He graduated and went off to some college half-way across the country." He explained. _Wow... who knew? Punk kid, friends with Mikey... **gay**_. I smiled.  
"Well, it was a long time ago." He said and sniffled. Was he going to cry?  
"Are you okay?" I asked. He smiled reassuringly.  
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He asked nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact with me.  
"So, are you getting a cold? Or is it just coincidence that your eyes are watery and you're all sniffly right after talking about an old broken heart?" I asked. Frank closed his eyes. I had released the tears. His cheeks were now shiny and wet.  
He had broken down. e leaned his head against my chest. I felt my cheeks burn up. I gently placed my hands on his back to try and comfort him.  
"I'm sorry." We said in unison. I bit my lip and smiled.  
"It's okay, let it out." I encouraged him, patting his back. I felt a wetness underneath my sweatshirt. Man, this punk can _cry_!  
I looked around and found that a few people were looking. I felt a little uncomfortable now that people were staring.  
"Thank you, Gerard. And sorry, again." He said as he pulled away. I blushed.  
"No problem. Any time." I said as I flashed a smile. He smiled but the features of a frown stayed on his face. "I'll probably get in shit if I don't get to my room soon." I said. He nodded.  
"Want me to walk you? This place can be maze-like." He offered.  
"Sure." I said and I helped him up.  
He led me up the stairs towards my room. I had actually no clue where my room was so I _did_ need him to walk me to it.  
"Okay, so, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Frank said as he neared the door. I had been laying on the bed at this point.  
Before he could be out of sight, I called out his name. He turned his head and looked at me, leaning his forehead on the doorframe.  
"Thank you." I said. He smiled weakly. He quietly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.  
I exhaled deeply and stood up. I walked over to a little mirror that hung on the wall. I stared hard at my face. It was only then that I realised that I was crying. I wiped under my eyes. I sighed.  
The door suddenly opened and I turned. Frank kicked my door closed and walked over to me. He grabbed my face with both hands and pressed his lips against mine. I had no idea what to think. He knew I had feelings for someone else. But, he kissed me.  
He broke away, keeping us touching foreheads. He breathed heavily. "Frank," I breathed. He shook his head, keeping his eyes to the ground.  
"I know. I just was-" He paused. His hands lowered by a few centimeters. His thumb gently stroked my jaw bone. "Curious." He said. I could see a small smile appear on his lips.  
"Anything else you're curous about?" I asked, playing along. He nodded. His hot breath ran down my neck and sent odd shivers up and down my body.  
"Can I ask what it is?" I asked. He looked up finally and looked into my eyes. A look of deep longing stared into my eyes. _This punk is **bold**_!  
I decided to go with it. I pressed my liips against his again and his fingers dug through my hair as his other hand slid down my back.  
"Where?" He asked, taking his lips from mine long enough to just to whisper that and return. I scanned the room with one eye. The bed was pretty small and the floor was carpet. I had to go with the bed.  
I laid him down on the bed. He made himself comfortable as hovered over him, stradling his waist.  
I knew this was just out of sympathy and for comfort for him. This had no future...  
But why did it feel so right?  
I kissed him on the lips and then continued down.


	6. A Favour

I opened my eyes. I groaned as the pain of withdrawl came to me. And then I remembered that a warm body laid beside me. I looked down and I spotted a tattooed punk kid clinging my chest like a child to it's teddy bear. He was tracing circles around my belly button.  
"Good morning." I said to him, twirling my fingers in a lock of his black hair.  
He looked up, "Good morning... Thank you." He said.  
"Any time" was the first thing that came through my mouth. That sounded bad. "I mean-- you're welcome." I corrected myself. He smiled and looked at my side table.  
"Oh, shit. I have to go." He said, pushing himself off me. I nodded. I helped him collect his clothes.  
"Bye, I'll see you later." He said. I waved silently.  
"Oh, wait!" I called and grabbed his arm. "Um-- is there, like, a payphone around here or something?" I asked. He nodded.  
"Yeah, down the hall to the last right. There's a whole line of payphones." He said, pointing down the hall.  
"Thanks." I said. He smiled and left.  
I closed my door and went to my bag. I unzipped it and pulled out the picture of me and Bert. I frowned. "Sorry, Bert." I whispered, tracing my thumb around his face.  
I pulled out the first two quarters I found in my bag and quickly followed Frank's directions.  
I put a quarter into the first available phone and dialed Bert's phone number. " _Hello?_ " Bert answered. He sounded tired. I don't know what time it was.  
"Hey, Bert." I said happily.  
" _Hey, Gerard. How's hell?_ " He asked.  
 _Better than I ever thought it would be._  
"Well, hell! We have no choice but to go to these stupid sessions and I barely get any drugs around here." I spilled, avoiding Frank as a topic.  
" _Mikey tells me his friend works over at that place. Seen him?_ " Bert asked. _Crap._  
"From time to time." I said. The conversation felt oddly awkward on my end.  
" _When do you think you'll be able to get out?_ " He asked.  
"Maybe a few months. I feel like I'm gonna die in here." I said.  
" _Aw, poor Gerard._ " Bert sympathized. I smiled. " _I'll see you. Call me, okay?_ " He said.  
"Alright. Talk to you later, bye." I said and hung up.  
I looked at the second quarter in the palm of my hand, considering calling Mikey. I sighed and shoved the quarter in my pocket.  
I hurried back to my room and before I could reach it, I saw a man knocking on my door. "Mr. Way, it's time to wake up." He said, knocking on my door louder. I sighed in annoyance but then noticed his assistant in a white labcoat holding a small perscription medicine container which I easily recognized as my morning dose. I feel like a fucking lab rat around here.  
I walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder. "Hey, can I go in now?" I said. The man stammered gibberish to himself and then stepped out of the way.  
"Mr. Way, it's time for your dosage." The man said before I could close the door behind me. I rolled my eyes.  
"No kidding." I muttered and left the door open.

I laid on my bed in silence, going over last night in my mind. Frank had been so... odd. I actually would have never thought he was gay. He seemed like a tough guy... besides when he cried like a little girl into my favourite sweatshirt. And he seemed so confident and forward. Bert is just _crazy_.  
A knock on the door stopped my train of thought.  
"Come in." I called, sitting up on the bed. The door opened revealing Frank on the other side.  
"Hey.." He whispered. He was suddenly so shy around me now. Something must be bugging him.  
"Are you alright?" I asked, standing up. He raised his hands in front of him for me to stop. I backed up a step. _What was wrong? Does he suddenly hate me?_  
"Gerard, I-" Frank mumbled. I knew it was going to be about last night.  
"What's wrong? You seem nervous." I said, letting my hand slowly reach out to him while keeping my legs stationary. He walked completely into the room, closing the door behind him.  
I watched every one of his movements carefully, curious of what was going through his head. I wish I were psychic.  
He was about a foot away from me now. Still silent.  
"I-" I was hushed by his finger over my lips. My lips along with my cheeks burned.  
"I just need you right now." He whispered, leaning in closely. _Okay, I don't think so..._  
"Frank, no ideas here." I said, pushing away his hand. Frank shook his head.  
"Please, Gerard. I'm begging here." Frank said. I sighed.  
"No, Jesus, God, wow.. Frank, stop that." I said, holding him away by his shoulders.  
"No, Gerard. I can't. You're just too cute." Frank said, his arms going around my neck. I rolled my eyes.  
"Want cute? Buy a puppy." I spat, removing his hands from my neck. He smiled at me. It was as if he were drunk and didn't understand a word I was saying... Oh, drunk... It's a great feeling.. Oh, shit! No reveries right now, what's going on?!  
I felt Frank's warm lips against mine. _Wow, this punk can kiss!_  
"Just this once." He breathed heavily, digging his fingers into my hair. I had only noticed now that he had brought me into a corner. _Damn forward kid, I can't back away._  
I smirked at his little comment.  
"Then what was last night?" I asked, playing with his lip ring. He smiled against my lips.  
"A small preview." He said. At that second I found my back on the bed with Frank sliding off my shirt. Damn, he's strong for a small kid.

  
I laid awake staring at the ceiling with Frank laying on my chest. I was pretty sure he was asleep. "I'm sorry." He said suddenly. Instead of flipping out from him scaring me half way to death, I just responded.  
"What for?" I asked.  
"Doing this again." He said. I felt a shiver go through Frank's back. I rubbed his back in an attempt to warm him up. But then I felt a cold bead of moisture drip onto my chest. He was crying.  
"I'm sorry. This isn't what was supposed to happen. I came to ask a favour." He admitted. I stared at his innocent face. He seemed so genuinely upset.  
"What is it?" I asked. He sighed.  
"You know that guy I told you about that left and went to college?" Frank said. I nodded. "Well, I just got a message from him saying that he just graduated early and has huge news. And being a dropout, I don't have much to be bragging about. So, when he comes do you think you can act like--" He paused, but I think I know where he was going with this. I closed my eyes. "... Act like my boyfriend?" He released the rest onto me as if I'm most open-minded when my eyes are closed.  
"Sure. When is this guy coming?" I asked, opening my eyes.  
"I guess about a month. Apparently he has family that wants to throw him graduation parties in, like, six different states." Frank whined. I smiled at him. One month... I'm pretty sure I'd be independent of drugs by then. April... lovely.  
"Thanks, Gerard." Frank said, resting his head on my chest.


	7. The Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bert comes to visit Gerard.

A few weeks had passed and my dose had been dwindling in quantity. I didn't get headaches as easily now, though. Shamefully, I had a few flings with Frank in the process, too. I think releasing my sexual energy helped me through this in some sick way.  
I was smoking a cigarette on the same terrace I had comforted Frank on the first day here. Frank had always been there at the same time to give me a light. And we always talked for hours on the bench.  
Frank appeared beside me as soon as I pulled out my cigs. It was my second last cigarette. Damn.  
"You might want to cut down." Frank said, offering the lighter. I grinned.  
"Hey, _you_ have the lighter." I reminded him and playfully stuck my tongue out at him. He smiled.  
"Alright, no smoke for you." He said and shoved the lighter in his pocket. I frowned.  
"Hey, meanie, I didn't mean it!" I plead, hopping on the spot.  
Frank smiled. I whined for a few more seconds until I noticed something caught his eye. I turned around.  
"Mr Way, you have a visitor." A man in a suit said.  
"Who is it?" I asked.  
"He says his name is Bert." He said. I glanced at Frank, then back. I nodded.  
"I'll be back." I said to Frank.  
I walked with the man to the front. I smiled when I spotted Bert near the reception desk.  
"Hey, Bert." I said, giving him a hug.  
"Hey, you're still alive!" Bert joked as we pulled away. I smiled.  
"Yeah. So, how have you been?" I asked.  
"I'm fine. I'm great now, after seeing you." He said, his face lighting up. _Aww.. He's so sweet._ I felt a knife through my chest.  
"Aw, thanks. How's Mikey?" I asked.  
Bert frowned. "Dude, I have news..." He exhaled deeply. I stared at him, worried.  
"What's wrong with Mikey?" I asked, praying my little brother was alright.  
"He's in prison." Bert said. Oh, my **God**!! _Mikey_ , in _**prison**_?! There has got to be a mistake!  
"What the fuck? That's impossible! Did he get caught with alcohol? Wait, that's impossible for him. Did he finally get caught selling those pirated movies from the Phillipeans? What did he do--"  
"I'm kidding!" Bert interrupted me. I frowned at him.  
"That's not funny! I lost my sense of humour in this place!" I whined, playfully drama-fying my panic by shaking him by the shoulders. He smiled.  
"Alright calm down." He said. "I just came for a quick visit 'cause I'm only allowed like 3 minutes more." He said.  
"Sir, time's up." The same man said. Bert rolled his eyes.  
"You see?" He mumbled. He hugged me again before leaving.  
I returned to the terrace Frank was on to find him cutely snuggled up on the bench. I walked over and sat beside him. I put my arm around his shoulders. I looked down at his face. His pretty eyes were covered by his dark hair, such a waste, despite them being closed. I wiped away the hair out of his eyes. They slowly opened. Once his eyes focused, he smiled.  
"Gerard," He said.  
"Yes," I answered.  
"Do you know you're gonna be my boyfriend tomorrow?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. I smiled.  
"Yup. Nervous about seeing the guy?" I asked. He nodded.  
"What do you think he wants?" Frank asked.  
"I don't know. I've never seen this kid. Maybe he actually wants to get back together with you." I suggested.  
"I hope not. It's not great to reunite with a guy after so many years expecting it to be the same." Frank explained. I nodded. _Made sense._  
"I see." I looked up to the starry sky. It's so pretty. "Alright, it's time for sleep." I said, tapping his shoulder. He groaned and stood up. "Good night." I said and walked back to my room.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm coming!" I groaned and jumped out of bed. The bang on the door was _pissing me off!_  
Instead of Frank, who I thought it was, it was some guy in a tasteless suit. I hate the damned suit guys.  
"Mr Way, according to your history here, we believe you are on the edge of independence of drugs. At this rate, you may just have a few more days here." The man said.  
"Okay, I'm outta here in a few days?" I said. The man nodded.  
"Okay, is that all?" I asked in monotone, seriously not wanting this guy in my face any longer.  
He seemed to get the hint. "Yes, you can go do whatever you were doing." I nodded, rolling my eyes. He walked away and I closed my door.  
I turned around and scanned the room. My duffel bag was under my bed nicely while most of its former contents was sprawled around the room. I sighed and decided to clean up a bit.  
There was a knock at the door. I opened the door and found Frank on the other side. "Hey, _boyfriend_!" Frank joked. I smiled and rolled my eyes at his hyperness.  
"So, where is the dude?" I asked, gesturing Frank to come in. Frank walked in and sat on the bed. I closed the door and sat beside him on the bed.  
"He'll be here in about half an hour or less. Depends on traffic. He's in a cab on the way over right now." Frank explained. I nodded. "Oh, and what were those guys talking about? They were just saying to me 'you're friends almost ready to leave'." Frank asked. I was hoping to pop up this subject later.  
"Well, apparently, I'm gonna be out of here in a couple of days." I said. I hated that fact because then I have to go back "home".  
"Oh..." Frank mumbled. I examined his expression. He looked depressed.  
"Are you okay?" I asked, sliding my hand over his.  
"Uh, yeah.. And hey, you can see your Bert again." Frank said with fake cheerfulness.  
"Aw, Frank. I'll still be your friend. Just because I'm out of here doesn't mean I'm out of your life." I tried to comfort him. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked at me and I flashed him one of my contagious smiles. It immediately effected him.  
"So, we have like half an hour on our hands..." I began, with a hint of suggestion in my tone.  
"Hm..." Frank smiled wider and kissed me. I laid him down on his back and I hovered above him. I kissed him down his neck slowly and attentively. I wanted to take his mind off of my leaving soon. It seemed to be working.  
Then, with a bad shift of a leg, we tumbled. I ended up on top. Thank God for low beds. I picked myself up off of Frank. He laughed and rolled on his side to face me. I examined his neck idly, admiring my work. Then, I noticed a tattoo I had never seen before.  
"What's this?" I asked, removing my hand from it.  
"It's a scorpion. I got it yesterday. You like it?" He asked.  
"It's cool, but why?" I asked.  
"Well, with my dreams of being a guitarist developing into reality, I'm getting more obvious tattoos to commit me to music so I can't get a job anywhere else." Frank explained. I smiled.  
"I got NJ in my mouth, too." Frank said proudly. I giggled and rolled my eyes.  
"I know, I found it the first time we were together." Frank smiled, his cheeks turning red. _Aww..._  
"Well, with that,"--He stroked my cheek--"Wanna continue where we left off?" He suggested. I smiled and pressed my lips against his again. I hovered over him again. He's so small...  
"The door suddenly opened. "Holy, _Frank_!" A guy shouted. We pulled away.  
"Hi, Charlie." Frank said, picking himself off the ground. I followed, looking at Charlie and Frank back and forth until my eyes rested on Charlie.  
He was officially the third most gorgeous guy I had ever seen in my life(1st being Bert, 2nd being Frank). His black hair fell around his face perfectly. His skin was not too pale, but not tanned. And what made me feel like I was out of my league was the fact I could fucking _see_ his muscles on his arms through his long-sleeved shirt. All I got is stupid baby fat. I seriously can't tell why or how Frank would think having me pose as his boyfriend would help his life look better in any way.  
"You're much more wild than I remember." Charlie said to Frank. Frank grinned to himself.  
"Well, this is Gerard, my boyfriend." Frank said, resting his hand on my shoulder. Charlie and I shook hands and Frank led the way to our usual balcony.  
I lit up with Frank's lighter while listening to a lot of high school stories.  
"...And Frank would always get shoved into lockers and stuff." Charlie said. I frowned and held Frank closer to me.  
"Aw, poor thing." I said, kissing the side of his head.  
"I would always get him out, though." Charlie added.  
"Oh, yeah, that's how we met!" Frank said, smiling.  
After a lot of talking, Frank brought up a certain subject.  
"Charlie, why did you come all the way out here?" Frank asked.  
"Is there something wrong with visiting an old friend?" Charlie replied.  
"Well, you said you had huge news." Frank reminded him.  
Charlie was quiet, his expression explaining he didn't know how to word whatever his news was.  
"Frank, can I talk to you in private?" Charlie asked, standing up from the couch.  
"Okay," Frank followed Charlie back inside.  
I took the chance to think about what had been going on.  
 _Dear God, I'm my best friend's "new boyfriend" meanwhile my actual boyfriend is back home thinking I'm in the seventh circle of hell! I will be if I keep this up..._  
I heard a yell come from where Frank and Charlie had gone. I stood up and ran towards them. Before I could reach them, Frank came running over to me. He looked _pissed_!  
Frank just hugged me without a word, his arms tightening every second. _Need to breathe, need to breathe, need to breathe, need to breath_ \-- Frank pulled away-- _Ahhh..._ He looked at Charlie who stayed a few meters away. Frank still kept his arm around my waist tightly, but not in crusher-mode.  
Charlie looked at me straight in the eye, then turned and walked back into the building.  
As soon as he was out of sight, Frank hugged me tighter, covering his face in my hoodie. It reminded me of when we first got together. Crying over the same guy, at the same place... on the _exact_ same shirt.  
"What did he say to you?" I asked after a minute.  
Frank sniffled and looked up at me, his eyes still glossy and wet. "He tried to kiss me." Frank's voice quivered like he was going to cry all over again.  
"So, you still liked him. Why didn't you go for it?" I asked.  
"'Cause, then his ego would be upgraded from 'block-headed' to total 'wanna-be player'. He would think he was good enough to 'steal me' from you." He explained. I nodded. _Poor, Frank..._  
"I'm sorry... Again..." Frank chuckled through the surfacing tears. I guess he recognized the hoodie.  
I smiled sympathetically. I raised his chin for him to look me in the eyes. "Listen... I need you to know that you're much better than that guy. He's not good enough for you." I said. Frank smiled.  
He stretched to his tippy-toes which was always cute to see. I pressed my lips to his and played with his lip ring with my tongue out of habit.  
He smiled.


	9. He Held The World Upon A String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard checks out of rehab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry I haven't been updating!!

I laid in bed with Frank laying next to me. We had been awake just holding each other and innocently kissing for hours.  
"Today's my last day." I said. I gently wiped a stray tear away from Frank's eye before it made it's journey down his cheek.  
"I'm gonna miss you." Frank said, placing his hand over mine.  
"It's not like you're chained to this bed!" I said. I received the mental image immediately and smiled.  
" _Rawr_." Frank growled playfully, miming a claw out of his hand.  
"Want to help me pack?" I asked. Frank frowned. "Oh, come on, it's not _that_ sad." I said.  
"No, I just hate packing." Frank teased. I smiled and he followed as I stood up.  
I picked up my duffel bag and handed him his T-shirt that had been laying on it. Frank put it on and gathered some of my things. I threw in a few stray socks that were on the floor along with a shirt.  
"Hey, this is your Bert, right?" Frank asked. I turned. Frank held the picture of Bert and I in his hands.  
"Yeah. That's me and him at a Smashing Pumpkins concert on my 'birthday'." I said, doing air quotations on the word "birthday".  
"Was it not your birthday?" Frank asked, a chuckle in his voice.  
"Well, my girlfriend broke it off with me and Mikey cheered me up with tickets. Bert said it was my late birthday party. Wait--what day is it today?" I asked.  
"April 8th. Why?" Frank asked. I chuckled.  
"Tomorrow's my birthday." I said, smiling simply.  
"Oh, then happy birthday if I don't see you." Frank said, hugging my around the waist.  
I froze for a second.  
What if I didn't see him? He hadn't mentioned Mikey in a while. Maybe he's not friends with him anymore! If they're not friends, I might never get the chance to see Frank again--  
I kept in the moisture I felt under the surface, teasing me. I hadn't cried since... since I can remember! I didn't want to break that amazing record.  
"Gerard," Frank began. He caught my attention and it broke my concentration on not crying. "Why do you hold it in?" He asked.  
"What?" I said, my voice quivering. That question came out of the blue...  
"Your heart rate speeds up with your breathing. It's not good to keep in feelings." Frank said, keeping the side of his head to my chest.  
"I'm fine." I said, trying to keep my voice steady.  
Frank looked up at me with a completely serious look on his face. He stretched up on his tippy-toes, leaning in for my lips. I smiled sadly. I felt his soft, warm lips meet with mine and the metal lip ring of his was warm instead of its usual cold.  
I felt a warm drop of moisture quickly slide down my cheek and meet in between our chins. Frank pulled away and chuckled as he wiped his chin.  
I frowned and pulled Frank into a tight hug. I needed it. Another tear came down and I wiped it away with one hand. Frank wrapped his arms around my waist. "Shh.. It's okay." Frank said. I whimpered and hugged him tighter as hot tears began pouring out like a river.  
"Gerard, go on. This is good. Let it all out." Frank encouraged.  
I dropped my arms and let my legs go, bringing me to the ground. Frank carefully knelt next to me, wrapping his arms around my neck, kissing the top of my head.

"Gerard Way, you're ride is here." I heard Frank say in an oddly formal way.  
I looked up from my bed. He was in a suit just like he was the first day I was here. I smiled despite my leaving.  
"Thanks, Mr. Iero." I replied, picking myself up off the bed along with my bag off the floor. At the front desk, I spotted Bert, Mikey and that girl, Alicia.  
"Hey, Gerard." Bert said, pulling me into a tight hug.  
"Hey." I said, using all the air that survived in my lungs. "Hey, Mikey." I said in a choked voice, looking over Bert's shoulder. I flexed my fingers towards Alicia as if they were dying of oxygen loss too and she giggled, playing with Mikey's hair as Mikey played with her necklace. _Aw, Mikey's got a girlfriend!_  
Bert finally let me breathe again and I took it as a chance to gratefully take in as much oxygen possible.  
"Alright, let's get going, baby." Bert said, wrapping his arm around my neck. It felt weird. I was used to having short, little Frank curl his arm around my waist and me hold him around the neck. _I'm the worst boyfriend in the world..._  
"Bye, Frank." I said quickly, before Bert brought me outside. I smiled as I spotted my silver, old car in a parking spot right at the door. Bert stopped walking and turned to face me. I examined his face carefully. He was a bit paler since the last time I saw him. His hand brushed the back of my head and he pulled me close and pressed our lips together. I was shocked in a way. Bert's style is so... bold and forward and I'm so accustomed to Frank's sweet and innocent brush of lips. And Frank's taste of cherry and caramel. Bert tasted like me--cigarettes and alcohol. Well, now, just cigarettes. And what I _really_ can't seem to get past is the fact that I keep on _comparing_ Bert to Frank!  
Bert pulled away. "Happy birthday, babe." He whispered. I smiled.  
"Thanks, I missed you." I said. He grinned.  
He opened the passenger door for me and I chuckled. "I just got out of rehab, I'm not a girl." I teased, and playfully punched his shoulder.  
Apparently, while I was in rehab, Mikey had gotten his driver's license. He and Alicia have been going steady for a while now. I was happy for him.  
Mikey pulled up in front of Bert's house after about half an hour. _Thank God!_  
"I got a few suitcases with your stuff from your house in the trunk. You can crash here for a while." Bert explained. I smiled happily.  
"Thanks, Bert." I said, touching his hand from the front seat.  
"Mikey, how's Mom?" I said when it was just me and him getting to the trunk.  
"She's alright. Didn't seem sad about us grabbing your stuff." Mikey said.  
"Do you have my drawings?" I asked intently.  
"I got all your art in the blue suitcase and all the stuff on your walls in the bottom of the navy one with all your clothes." Mikey explained, putting his hands over two blue suitcases.  
"Thanks, Mikey." I said, patting his shoulder.  
"Can I ask you something, Gee?" Mikey asked, leaning on the car. I nodded. Mikey exhaled heavily. "Do you think it's weird moving in with Bert?" He asked. I felt my jaw drop but I felt no sense to close it. I didn't really realize I was moving in with Bert. I had crashed on his couch tons of times but now it's a bit different. I had suitcases. _God, I feel sick..._  
"I guess it's a little weird, but he's my best friend. It's fine." I replied, trying not to blurt out my thoughts. I quickly glanced at the rear windows. Bert and Alicia seemed pretty into whatever they were talking about.  
I looked back at Mikey.  
"I was thinking of getting a place with Alicia." Mikey said.  
"Aw, Mikey's all grown up!" I teased, tousling his hair. He rolled his eyes, sorting out his hair again.  
"We're graduating in a few months so I'll wait 'til then, of course, to ask." Mikey added. Wow- he's already graduating.  
Leaving our conversation at that, we brought the suitcases inside and set them down by the door. Bert had only helped by sharing a handle with Mikey for about 5 seconds. Such a child.  
After everything was inside, Mikey and Alicia took off. I'm guessing I won't be getting my car back any time soon.  
I stood in front of the suitcases, trying to find a difference between navy and blue.  
I felt Bert's arms wrap around my waist and he rested his chin on my shoulder. I smiled.  
"How about a little celebration that you're back home?" Bert suggested, kissing my neck softly. I knew where Bert was getting at. He must have _missed_ me a lot and I should have _missed_ him, too. But, I didn't have that kind of deprivation in rehab. I had Frank. Damn it, I'm horrible!  
I let out an involuntary moan as Bert began nibbling on my earlobe and slowly moved down, nipping on my neck. I felt his hand lower from my waist going over my crotch. I moaned as he grabbed me. His lips curled up on the edges against my skin.  
"Bedroom?" I breathed. I got my answer when I heard him lock the front door. We weren't moving out of this spot. Heh; kinky, are we?  
He dropped both of us down to the floor as he fiddled with my jeans zipper.


	10. Sticky

When I woke up I felt Bert's warm body next to me. "Morning." Bert whispered in my ear and kissed my shoulder. I smiled. _How does he know every time?_  
"Morning," I replied.  
I heard the phone ring. Bert answered the phone which was conveniently placed next to him. He must have gotten a call earlier.  
"Hello?... Okay... Here." Bert said, holding out the phone to me.  
"Hello?" I answered.  
"Hey, it's Mikey. Listen, Frank wants you to call him." Mikey said on the other line.  
"I don't know his number." I said.  
"Alright, you have to call the rehab center and ask for him. He doesn't have a cell." Mikey said. I bit my inside cheek. I knew that.  
"Alright, I think I have the number somewhere. If not, I'll use the super-efficient 2000 paged phonebook that has _always_ treated me nicely in the past." I said sarcastically. Bert grinned at that as he played with my hair.  
"No, there's a card in the blue suitcase in its side pocket." Mikey said. I rolled my eyes. I still needed to destinguish which one the blue on is and which is the 'navy' one. Same thing, right?  
"How did you know I'd need it?" I asked.  
"Well, you guys are friends now, so I assumed you would need his phone number." Mikey explained. I smiled.  
"Bye." I said and hung up.  
"What was that about?" Bert asked, leaning his head on the palm of his hand. I shrugged.  
"Mikey says I gotta call Frank." I said, handing the phone back to Bert. He nodded. I kissed him quickly on the lips.  
"Time to get up, I guess." I said, sitting up. Bert got up and put the phone on the table. I was suddenly very aware that I was naked.  
"Bert...?" I said shyly. I heard him laugh.  
I felt cold fabric hit my back. I took it and rolled my eyes. "It's a shirt." I said, waving it in the air.  
"Use what you have." He teased. I waited until --hopefully-- a pair of pants was tossed next to me. I took it and smiled.  
"Thank you, Fr-Bert." I nearly called him Frank! Shit!  
I put on the grey pants and red shirt. "Breakfast?" Bert offered. I smiled.  
"Pancakes?" I joked wishfully.  
"Help yourself." Bert said, pointing to the counter. I gasped and ran over and smiled widely as Iaid my eyes on a plate filled with steaming pancakes.  
"Love you, Bert!" I said childishly as I dug into the pancakes after happily watching the syrup trickle down the pile.  
"Oh, good. 'Cause so far in our relationship we just liked each other a lot." Bert joked sitting next to me at the counter.  
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Eww, sticky." Bert whined playfully, wiping his cheek. I laughed and took another bite of my pancakes.


	11. For Lack of A Better Title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard calls Frank, and Bert finds out about their relationship.

I sat on the couch staring down at the phone in my hands. Bert had went out to buy groceries so I had time for a conversation with Frank. But, I don't know if I was ready for whatever conversation that would come my way.  
I found myself already dialing the centers phone number that I had now memorized from all the times I had already attempted to call.  
" _Iero Rehabilitation Center, may I help you?_ " I gasped. It was Frank! And what a crappy welcome.  
"Hey, Frank." I said.  
" _Oh, God! Hey!_ " Frank gasped. I chuckled halfheartedly.  
"Mikey said you wanted to talk." I said.  
He exhaled. " _Yeah, listen..._ " He began. I grabbed a pillow from beside me and held it close to my chest, nervously tightening a fist around the fluff inside. " _Gerard, can I just ask you one thing?_ " Frank asked.  
"Go ahead." I said, tightening my fist.  
" _I want to know..._ " Frank faded off. I closed my eyes, waiting. The seconds went by like hours. " _How are things with Bert?_ " He asked. His voice seemed to crack.  
"What--? It's good. Why?" I said.  
" _Nothing. I just... was wondering. Is he there?_ " Frank asked.  
"No, he's getting groceries."  
" _Oh, okay._ " Frank sighed.  
After a moment of silence, I spoke again.  
"Do you want me to come ov--" I stopped when I heard the front door burst open, and slam against the wall. I ran down the hall to see what had happened. I could hear Frank's frantic calls on the phone which was now at my waist.  
Bert stared at me in a glare with just one grocery bag in his hand. He dropped the bag onto the floor. He kicked the door closed and walked over to me slowly.  
"Bert, what's wrong?" I asked in a panicky tone, taking a small step back. He made no response, but just came closer. "Bert, you're scaring me!" I exclaimed when I scratched my waist on the edge of the wooden counter.  
"You **whore**!" He shouted, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt. The roars on the telephone rose in volume. Tears fell now. _How did he find out?_  
Before I could make any response, he punched me. I screamed as I fell onto the floor. The phone flew out of my hands as I fell. I heard the crash as it broke on the floor. I winced in pain as a shard of the plastic ran into my cheek an inch below my eye. I shut my eyes tightly but the tears still came.  
I frantically picked myself up off the floor and ran down the hall. Two choices; bathroom or bedroom. I ran stupidly to the bedroom and into the closet. Smart move.  
"Gerard, _baby_ , get the fuck out here!" Bert yelled. He sounded like he was in the room.  
I wrapped my arms around my knees and shut my eyes. I felt blood run down my cheek from where the plastic made its way. I didn't dare take it out now, it would hurt just as much.  
"Come on, baby, let's play," I heard Bert's voice boom from the other side of the closet door. I winced, closing my eyes tighter; praying that it would make me invisible.  
The door snapped open and Bert pulled me out by the arm. I flopped onto the bed, groaning and crying at the fucking shard of plastic shoved deeper into my cheek.  
Before I could retaliate (if I even could), Bert hovered over me, pinning me down by the wrists. He would usually do this in a... playful way.  
Bert's face crashed onto mine, his teeth clashing against mine for a second. The tears pouring out of my eyes stung the gash in my cheek. Bert's right hand gripped my wrists together down against the bed above my head as his left trailed down to my jeans. I whimpered involuntarily as the first button clicked free.  
It was silent aside from our heavy breathing and my huffs and whimpers. I'm pretty sure it was only me who could hear it, if it were actually making a sound or it was my own insanity, but I'm pretty sure I even heard the acid from my tears clashing with my blood, making the same sound as a frying egg in a pan.  
I kept my eyes closed, hoping I could fall into a trance and skip through this numbly, but the worst things in life are unfortunately always painfully clear. Another click and my lungs gasped for air.  
"Shut the fuck up." Bert whispered harshly, his left hand clamping over my mouth.  
His usually blue eyes were black and blood shot. Was he high? I stared up at him for what seemed like an eternity before he looked away. His right hand on my wrists gave a crushing squeeze, making me stifle a whimper. I was trying to be silent, terrified of what he might do if I made a sound.  
The metallic clicks of my pants zipper stopped my breath. I stared up at the ceiling, praying and hoping that this would go away. This was a bad dream that just wouldn't stop. I'll wake up when it's over. Maybe I'm still in rehab... I'm on the drugs they hold me over with. Yes, even that is better than this. Please. My prison is better than my hell.  
I blinked and I had no pants on. I gulped and took a breath my lungs deserved.  
Bert's hands gripped both my shoulders and flipped me over. My nose dug into the warm blue duvet. I laid motionless; maybe the less struggle I put up, the less pain there will be.  
I felt Bert's right hand rest on my shoulder, his hot skin burning into mine. His left hand rested on the back of my head. I felt my pulse beating into the duvet and back at me rapidly as my breathing picked up to the highest speed they could manage.  
I grimaced as Bert's fingers gripped my long hair, tugging as I felt chunks of my hair being pulled from the root. My tears never ran out, they were steady as a river. I bit down onto the duvet, trying to keep silent. His hand left my hair and went south, removing my boxers. A miniature cough cracked from my throat, Bert ignored it.  
It was pure silence for a moment; as if Bert was waiting. For what, I don't know-- maybe for me to struggle to have more of an excuse to hit me than to get on with it. At this point, I just want it to be over with so I could run away or cry or break down in any way possible that I haven't already.  
"A whore like you doesn't need any help." Bert's raspy voice said into my ear. I hadn't even felt him lean down. I didn't understand what he meant, either.  
Then, I felt something lunge into my ass. I couldn't stop, my back arched as much as it could reflexively with Berts arm pressing down on it and I screamed at the top of my lungs. The instant after, my throat was sore and felt I couldn't even swallow the saliva in my mouth.  
"What the _fuck_ did I say?!" Bert shouted, shoving my face down into the duvet. I screamed again, this time it was muffled by the bed. I couldn't breathe. I writhed under Bert's pressure, crying and screaming from lack of oxygen and the shard of plastic lodging deeper into my skin. No words were actually formed, I just screamed. The acidic hissing came back as the surplus of tears made contact with the fresh blood pouring out.  
Bert thrust his cock inside me again and I wanted to scream, but decided to save my oxygen.  
Even though in the same way I should thank God that Bert finally let go of my head, I still longed for death at this moment, knowing it was the only surefire way to escape this right now. I took a painful deep breath.  
I led my left hand up to my face and closed my eyes and bit down onto the duvet again. My fingers gripped tightly on the shard of plastic and I counted to 3 before pulling it out swiftly like one would with a bandaid. Except this hurt like fuck. Especially since Bert decided to go as deep as he could in unison. I screamed and Bert's right hand fingernails cut into my shoulder as his grip tightened.  
Then, my tightened eyelids lost force, letting go. My fingers dropped the piece of plastic and it all went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry to Gerard. :'(


	12. The Day After Pill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title not to be taken literally, obviously.  
> Gerard faces the morning after the previous evening's encounter with Bert.

I opened my eyes. It was light out. I gasped for breath, trying to stop my mental urge to cry. God damn it! Frank opened me up to crying.  
I bit my lip. This is all my fault. _How did Bert find out, though? Mikey, maybe? No, he wouldn't know about it unless_ \-- I gritted my teeth. Frank. He must have spilled to Mikey. Why would he do that to me?!  
I weakly rolled over and pain shot through my entire body. I turned back onto my stomach, avoiding lying on my back. Bert is a fucking asshole. At least I was all alone in the bed. Good. After last night, I didn't want to see Bert.  
After a few minutes, I found the strength and stamina to get up. I wrapped the duvet around myself and walked across the hall to the bathroom. On the way, I couldn't help but stare at the small crimson stain on the fabric, wondering if it was from my face or if Bert ripped me. I hurt all over; I couldn't even tell.  
I dragged myself into the shower, burning myself with the scalding hot water. I winced at first, but I really just wanted to die. And bring Frank down with me.  
After boiling myself in the shower, I wiped down the fogged mirror. I almost screamed at the sight. There was a crimson diamond-shaped bloody mess across my cheekbone and a large bruise across the left side of my face from where Bert punched me. I licked my lower lip, tasting a sliver of blood. I sighed and dabbed rubbing alcohol on my cheek and lip.  
After cleaning up, I dressed in a pair of jeans, a Misfits t-shirt and a plain black hoodie.  
I tip-toed carefully down the hall just in case Bert was in the living room. I peeked around the corner and saw the room was empty.  
I looked out the front window and spotted my silver car in the driveway. I half-smiled and grabbed my keys.

"May I help you, Sir...?" the receptionist faded off as she turned to look at me. I glared at her.  
"Frank Iero. Where is he?" I spat. I didn't care to be even remotely polite. I licked my scabbed lip as she scanned the room frantically with her wide eyes.  
"Oh-- He's right over there!" she said, gesturing behind me in a panic. She obviously wanted to be rid of me as soon as possible. I turned my head, spotting Frank near the payphones. I smiled for a millisecond at her in thanks and made my way across the lobby.  
"Hey, Punk!" I said, grabbing him by the collar, half-dragging him down the hall.  
"Gerard, what the hell are you doing here?!" Frank asked, fidgeting with my fist on his collar. He looked up and his eyes went wide.  
"Why did you tell Mikey about us?" I snapped, glaring at him.  
"What-- Well, Mikey's my friend and your brother. I think he deserves to know!" Frank argued.  
"Oh, yeah? Well, that little asshole told Bert." I snapped. My voice cracked as I spoke. Frank totally turned me into such a girl.  
"I didn't think he would tell anyone!" Frank said, panicking. I gritted my teeth, tightening my grip on his collar. Frank looked straight into my eyes. He seems bolder than usual.  
"I just--" Frank muttered half to himself.  
"What? Spit it out! Why would you ruin things like that? What could I have possibly done to hurt you as much as you did me?" I asked, staring him hard in the eye. He frowned. I licked my lips.  
"You left." He said simply. I crunched my eyebrows in confusion.  
"What--?" My grip loosened on his collar. Frank sighed.  
How could he be angry that I left? I had to! I was just a patient. We weren't even really together. And I only acted like his boyfriend for that Charlie guy! But, I guess Frank, being the sensitive person he is, fell for it. But, he brought it on himself! You can't be upset about something you caused yourself. But, if I put it that way, I have to blame myself for this mess. I took part in this too. It's not all Frank's fault.  
"I'm sorry." We said in unison. I felt his rough fingertips trace my jawbone.  
"Hmm..." I was wondering about the calloused fingertips.  
"I'm taking up the guitar." Frank mumbled, with a small smile on his lips. I smiled.  
Frank leaned in carefully. I sighed and gripped tighter on his shirt. Worry came upon his features when I did so. I smiled and pulled him in by this collar. He frowned against my lips.  
"Gerard, you look like you came out of a horror movie." Frank said as he leaned away. I frowned.  
"I noticed." I muttered.  
"What happened with Bert?" Frank asked. I licked my cut lip.  
My left hand was still wrapped tightly on his collar which was probably not of his concern at the moment seeing how I just used the advantage. My smile disappeared. I traced his lips with the thumb of my right hand. I really didn't want to talk about it.  
"Nothing." I muttered. Frank rolled his eyes.  
"I know something's wrong." He said. I tightened my grip on his shirt.  
"It's over." I said. Frank smiled sweetly and sympathetically. He looked me right in the eyes, seeming to examine them.  
"Hey, Gerard... Are you gonna cry?" Frank asked, placing his left hand on my cheek. _Damn it._  
"No..." I whispered.  
"Aww... Gerard, it's alright." He encouraged, rubbing my arm with his other hand.  
I pulled away from him, shaking his hand off my arm.  
I backed into the wall and just slid down to the floor. Frank waited a few seconds before coming over to me. Frank knelt next to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I smiled. I remembered this; it was just like the day before I left. He had held me in the same caring way.  
I fought back the tears that tackled the corners of my eyes. Frank kissed my cheek. A tear fell from my right eye; the side where Frank had kissed.  
"You turned me into a girl with this whole crying thing." I said, watching Frank from the corner of my eye. He smiled. I felt his warm hand on my chin. He turned my head to look at me.  
"I know." He said, smiling before brushing his lips against mine. I licked my lips playfully when he pulled away. He smiled at me.  
"I have a room you can stay in." Frank said, playing with a lock of my hair.  
"Oh... Okay. But, I don't think I can live in an addict room again." I joked.  
"It's not-- follow me." He said, unwrapping his arms from around my neck. He helped me up and guided me by the hand through a few halls that I hadn't even known existed.  
He led me outside when a few people were talking around the yard. "Where are we going?" I asked. Frank giggled.  
"Close your eyes." He said. I whined and covered my eyes with my free hand.  
I heard our footsteps switch from wet grass to asphalt. I heard a lock and a creaky hinge in desperate need of oil.  
"Can I look now?" I mumbled.  
"Okay, for the past year I've been living in a room in the building. My dad figured that I wanted space from all the patients." Frank began. "What he didn't know, all but one." He added, giggling. I smiled.  
"Open your eyes!" Frank squealed happily. I removed my hand. I stood in awe as I stood in front of a 2-storey brick house.  
"Oh my fucking God! Your dad did this for you?" I exclaimed.  
"Yeah. Do you need a place to stay?" Frank asked, placing both his hands around mine. I smiled.  
"Yes, please." I said.  
"Alright! I got a live-in boyfriend!" Frank sing-songed as he did a random little dance. His choice of words surprised me. _"Boyfriend"_? I smiled anyway. He stopped; probably realizing that I was still there.  
"Alright, come on in!" He said happily, pulling my hand.  
Inside, the walls were painted a pale white but colour balanced out with Frank's guitar posters. He was really interested in guitars, I guess.  
He sat down on a black leather sectional that stretched around a wooden coffee table with remotes and controllers of all kinds. I then noticed the huge TV also surrounded by video games and their consoles. _**WOW**_.  
"Oh my, God." I managed out of my throat, sitting down on the sectional. Frank scooted over next to me.  
"You like? I picked out all this stuff." Frank bragged. _Wow, I never knew so much money can be made off of rehabilitation._ I smiled. He leaned his head on my shoulder idly, his fingers making tiny circles on the faded knees of my jeans.  
I wanted to know what he was thinking. Were we, like, "moving in" or just a casual stay-over?  
"Want to see the rest?" He asked, stopping his circles. I nodded and he pulled me up with him. He led me around a corner, down a hall with 2 doors on either side near the end. I winced; it dreadfully reminded me of Bert's house. Frank led me to the right-- his bedroom.  
His queen-sized bed was covered with a black duvet with red pillows. He had a full-length mirror on the other end of the room, facing the bed. A nice armoire was conveniently placed next to it.  
"Nicely decorated." I complimented him as I approached the bed. On his nightstand was an empty picture frame.  
"What's that for?" I asked, pointing at the frame. I turned to look at him. He was smiling, and insanely blushing, as he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked at me.  
"Well, I was thinking of putting a picture of us in there; but we actually have none." He explained. I smiled.  
"Well, then, let's get a camera." I said, pressing my lips against his. Before I could lean away, he kept me close, sucking on my lower lip.  
He giggled and leaned away. He dropped himself on the bed.  
"Frank, what do you have there?" I asked, smiling, eying his hand under the pillow.  
"Nothing." He said quickly, shaking his head.  
"Are you sure?" I asked, nearing him on the bed. Frank was biting his lip; he was planning something. I slowly slid onto the bed, straddling his waist. I planned to distract him while I investigated.  
Frank was smiling and obviously keeping in an I'm-a-genius-so-I'm-way-too-out-of-your-league laugh.  
A sweet, stifled moan escaped his lips when our lowers aligned. My hand gently caressed his cheek while the other did the same to his arm.  
"Gerard," He breathed. I smiled, leaning into his lips teasingly. "Gotcha!" He squealed, releasing his hand along with a bright flash. I whined childishly when I fell beside him on the bed. He rolled over and rested his hand on my chest, still smiling.  
I frowned. "You're mean." I joked. Frank leaned in, kissing me gently. I smiled and he slid his hand around my waist.  
Frank giggled and crawled teasingly over me, straddling my waist. His gentle, yet guitar-calloused fingertips made their way down to the hem of my shirt. I flinched, remembering this rough position from last night. Frank noticed my hesitation and stopped.  
"Gerard, what's wrong?" He asked, lowering his body onto mine, our body parts aligning. I shuddered and slid from underneath him.  
"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled, avoiding his gaze.  
"Is it too early for you to move on?" Frank asked. I frowned. No. Definitely not. Me and Bert are done! That's for sure.  
But I went with it.  
"Yeah." I breathed. He frowned.  
"It's alright. But I still want a picture. Can you smile for me?" He asked, picking me up his disposable camera. I chuckled.  
"No, I look horrible." I said, pushing the camera away from me.  
"No, come on, please?" Frank pleaded, pushing the camera back towards me. I grinned at his stubbornness.  
"Alright." I smiled. He smiled and kissed me on the lips. A bright light quickly flashed and Frank broke off the kiss. I licked my lips, finding the new taste of his lips interesting. The mix of strawberry pop tarts and coffee.  
"Hm... Where's my coffee?" I asked, smiling.  
He smiled shyly.  
"So mean..." I pouted. I idly played with the back of his shirt near the hem.  
As I did so, he began stroking my cheek. I winced, remembering my cut.  
Frank stared me me with frightened eyes. I frowned. "Did he do this to you?" Frank asked. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to talk about it.  
"Well, did he?" Frank repeated. I bit my lip, watching as the visible worry in Frank's eyes increased.  
"Yes." I whispered. He frowned and wrapped his arms around my neck.  
"I'm so sorry." Frank whispered into my ear. My face hardened. He should be. Bert hitting me and getting angry is Frank's big mouth giving word to Mikey's bigger mouth leading up to this. Frank noticed my stillness and pushed away.  
"God, why did you have to tell Mikey?" I pressed the old subject I was on much earlier. He frowned.  
"Mikey's my best friend. I tell him everything." Frank explained. I narrowed my eyes. The answer wasn't good enough.  
"So, you don't think of me as your friend? You don't see that telling him would lead to me getting--" I paused looking for a word. I sighed. I lightly pushed Frank off of me. His frown stretched downwards.  
"I said I was sorry!" He whispered.  
"Saying 'sorry' doesn't cover it, Frank!" I said.  
"Gerard, I've told you I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get hit or angry. I just was so sad you left, I was talking to Mikey and it slipped out." He explained. Frank's soft palms rested on my hand. I looked at him. His hazel-green eyes were darkened and only the tiniest glisten was barely visible around the pupil. His full, pink lips pouted, his cheeks rosy. He looked so adorable. Shit. I can't be mad at him for 5 minutes even if I tried.  
"God, I'm sorry." I said, putting my right hand on his.  
"It's alright. It's my fault." Frank said. I half-smiled.  
Frank stretched to be taller in his seat as he reached to touch his lips with mine. I smiled.  
"I love you." I whispered against his lips. Frank smiled.  
"I love you, too." He said.  
That was the first time we had said that to each other. It was a great feeling. Frank relaxed his back, lowering himself down to my neck. His soft, hot lips brushed against my neck. I frowned and backed away from his lips.  
"I'm sorry..." Frank whispered, his fingers brushing across my cheek.  
"It's okay." I replied.  
"I think you need stitches for this." Frank said, touching the skin around my gash. I frowned, hissing.


	13. Emergency Room

Frank's father, who had yet to _actually_ meet me, lent us his car for Frank and I to go to the hospital in. Damn, his dad is cool!  
In the waiting room, strangely empty for once (don't even ask - I have a tendency to get into emergency-room situations when I don't get along with my cousins), Frank and I just talked. Actually, we talked between long silences. They weren't awkward though - we really didn't need to talk. Kind of sweet that way.  
"Gerard, I'm sorry." Frank said, tugging softly on the strings of my hoodie.  
While we were waiting, Frank, the little child, had shifted endlessly until he had finally, for now, found a spot he was comfortable with. His head was nuzzled into the crook of my neck, with his left arm looped around my right, with his left hand playing with his or my clothing occasionally.  
"Frank, it's fine... I'm really tired; can't we just go home--?"  
"No! You need stitches, you moron, sit back down!" Frank tugged me by my sleeve back down on the uncomfortable chair.  
"God, I hate hospitals." I muttered. Frank cooed slightly, whispering an "aw", kissing my cheek gently.  
"Gerard Way." I looked up at a nurse standing in front of us. I nodded and stood up, Frank following.  
When we got into an actual room, we still had to wait a few minutes for a doctor. When we got one, she broke the silence.  
"So, Gerard, how'd you get cut that deep?" She asked, her gloved hand coming to my cheek and delicately brushing my skin.  
"Uh... Got into a fight." I mumbled.  
She turned to us and looked between Frank and me. "Did you do that to the poor thing?" She asked Frank. His jaw dropped in silence; shocked. "I'm kidding, sweetheart. You don't look like you'd hit your boyfriend." She said, smiling warmly. Frank blushed.  
"Not much of a talker, is he?" She said to me as she cleaned my gash. I chuckled. _He isn't, but you sure are._  
"Gerard, you'll need to tell me. If it's something of a certain material; I'll have to take a look and see if any pieces are still in there." She explained. I hissed at the alcohol she was dabbing.  
"A piece of plastic from a broken phone." I said softly. Frank looked at me. I looked back at me, smiling at him reassuringly. Then, I looked back at the doctor.  
"Ouch. Honey, you better be careful. A pretty face like yours is a treasure." She smiled at me as she spoke.  
She went back to a counter and took out a kit that I saw a hooked needle and thread come out of. I found Frank's hand and squeezed.  
As she walked back, she paused and tilted her head.  
"Gerard, I know I might be stepping out of line, but if ... this wasn't just a fight... You could find help for it, you know?" She said. I bit my lip.  
"Thank you." My whisper was barely audible.  
"And don't worry about the black eye; it's fading already." She said, touching my temple gingerly. I smiled tightly; trying to keep in my tears.  
I tasted blood in my mouth and I didn't even know from where.  
"I'm going to start now..."  
I squeezed Frank's hand until I heard a whimper come out of him.  
  
  
"Gerard, do you want to file a report?" Frank asked when we got to the car.  
"No." I said, putting on my seat belt.  
"B- ... Okay." I smiled to myself when Frank stopped. I really did just want to be in silence for a little while.  
When we got back to the house, I laid down in the bedroom.  
After a few minutes, Frank climbed onto the bed. He delicately caressed my cheek with his thumb, right underneath the stitches.  
"I look horrible, don't I?" I mumbled, my eyes still closed.  
"You have the right to; you've gone through hell." Frank said softly. I smiled to myself.  
"You're _supposed_ to say 'no, Gerard, you look so beautiful, I love you'." I said, tilting my head into Frank's touch.  
"I'll be sure to do that next time." I could hear the grin in his voice. After a few seconds, Frank whispered, "Go to sleep... You need it."


	14. Welcome

"Welcome to the world, sleepy-head." Frank said. I squinted, trying to focus my groggy eyes.  
"Hmm?" I mumbled sleepily. Frank laid on his side next to me, propping his upper body up on his right elbow.  
"You talk in your sleep." Frank commented. I chuckled.  
"Yeah, I've been known for getting some numbers sleepwalking." I joked. Frank giggled. I pulled Frank down to my chest and smiled.  
"Remember that first time we were together?" Frank asked, his nose brushing against the crook of my neck. I nodded as I began running my fingers idly around Frank's shoulder blades.  
"Back when I was still an huge druggie? I can remember still very well." I said.  
"I still want to know how you found the..." He trailed off, looking for the right word. "The understanding in you to go through with it?" He asked.  
"Well, I did it the first time because it was just sympathy sex, I guess. But we didn't really do that much." I said. Frank looked up and stuck his tongue out at me. I returned the favour and continued on with my explanation. "Of course I didn't go all the way because I had a boyfriend." I said. I had just realized that Frank and I had never had _sex_. You know, sodomous, Christian-offending sex. We had only sucked each other off and gave hand jobs to one another and... other things. I bit the inside of my cheek, suppressing a grin.  
"Yeah, about that..." Frank mumbled shyly. I looked at him carefully, wondering if he was thinking what I thought he was. "Do you think we could have, uh, sex?" He asked, failing to be flirtatious as he rested on hand on my hip. I smiled, amused at his _confidence_.  
"Okay, only if you answer one question." I stated. He nodded. "Have you done it before?"  
Frank turned bright red. _Had he? Red cheeks could work either way!_  
"Have _you_?" He asked, looking into my eyes. His face had a look of worry and anxiety.  
"I asked first." I argued.  
"Well, I won't answer until you do." Frank said. I choked on nothing, admitting defeat.  
"Yes." I answered quietly.  
Frank became extremely silent. "With who?" He dared to ask after a moment.  
"Well, in that sense, I've only been with one guy." I explained. Frank nodded, understanding. "You?" I added. Seeing how he had come out at 16, I assumed he had gotten some action.  
He shook his head.  
"Oh," I whispered, looking down  
"Gerard," Frank began. I gulped nervously. "Fuck me."  
I almost laughed out loud. He was definitely not ready for that yet.  
"No." I replied firmly, trying to get my point across. He pouted.  
"Why?" Frank asked sadly. I frowned at him.  
"You are not even close to ready for that." I explained.  
Frank pouted again. "How am I supposed to be ready?" He said, removing his hand from my waist. I stayed frozen, keeping myself from changing my facial expression.  
"Gerard, no one can really know if they're ready." Frank stated, reacting to my silence. "Gerard, I love you. I'm ready. Even though I've been out longer than you, you did it before me. Sex isn't timed with when you came out." Frank continued. I kept still and quiet, waiting for him to finish his speech. "I'm ready." Frank added. His eyes were scanning my face and especially my eyes, looking for a message.  
I cracked a smile. "We're going to need something to use as lube." I said, breaking my silence. Frank's face showed him to be thinking. After a second or two, he frowned.  
"Nothing?" I asked. He hesitantly nodded.  
I exhaled heavily and as I did so Frank face turned to worry. I guess he thought I was changing my mind.  
"I have cream... does that count?" Frank asked, propping himself up on his elbows. I shrugged, "It'll do."  
Frank got up and ran out of the room and a minute later returned with a plastic bottle of baby oil. Johnson's. I suppressed by laughter.  
"This is going to hurt, Frank. Are you sure?" I said, giving him a chance to change his mind. He nodded firmly. I smiled softly and pulled Frank close to my chest. Our lips came together, perfectly molded to each others shape. When I had Frank directly underneath me, I pulled away, hovering over him, my arms planted on each side of his head, my legs straddling his waist. I came down close enough to tease him, our hips rubbing together as I tenderly kiss his neck. A moan came from Frank lips and I smiled.  
"Fuck, Gerard." Frank's voice came out in a short, breathless whisper. I smiled; I knew he would react fast.  
I shifted my waist and began working on his belt buckle. Frank took the liberty of opening mine. He seemed excited, seeing how he undid my fly faster than I did his belt buckle.  
"Condom?" I whispered.  
Frank panted, managing out an airy "What?"  
"You're killing me, here, Frank." I sighed, grinning, and rested my forehead on his shoulder.  
Frank groaned. "I have some in the drawer; I'm not _that_ stupid." He teased.  
I quickly readied myself with a condom and returned my gaze to Frank. He was smiling up at me, excitement in his eyes.  
"Ready, Frank?" I asked, my voice stuck in a whisper. He nodded. I kissed his hot lips and turned him onto his stomach. "I love you." I said to him, kissing his neck, then continued.  
  
  
I felt horribly guilty the next morning. Frank hadn't been able to sit and was walking distortedly.  
"IEEK!!" Frank squeaked as he tried to sit next to me at the kitchen counter. I frowned. He still couldn't sit down and it was noon. I wrapped my arm around his neck and kissed his cheek.  
"I'm sorry." I whispered in his ear sadly. Every time I had apologized -- 25 million and counting -- he had always replied with "it's alright."  
"I love you, Frank. You're too good for me." I sighed. Frank placed his hands on my arm and kissed my hand.  
"It's the other way around. You still love me after what I caused for you." Frank replied. I smiled sadly.  
"Thank you." I said. He smiled, leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I grinned and leaned out. "Frank, still... why did you tell Mikey?" It slipped out. I had to ask. Frank bit his lip.  
"I thought I answered that question yesterday." He excused himself, trying to walk away. Before he could, I wrapped my arms around his waist. I pulled him close to me, his back now against my bare chest.  
"Gerard, I already answered--" Frank stopped, probably realizing that my hand was inching its way down his bare stomach.  
"Go on." I said. I felt a shiver run through Frank's spine.  
"I already answered this question yesterday. I'll say the same--" Frank voice cracked and he stopped when my hand reached his boxers.  
"What if I want to hear it again?" I said, using my other hand's index finger to trace the shape of his lips.  
Frank let out a small moan, pulling his head backwards onto my shoulder in pleasure. I smiled and kissed his cheek.  
"I am so sorry, Gerard." His voice came out orgasmic and my smile widened. He's going to tell me the real reason. "I'm sorry. But, I'm not telling you." He said. I frowned angrily. I removed my hands and pushed him away from my shoulder.  
"I said I--"  
"I got it." I snapped, avoiding eye contact. Frank turned his back to me. I grinned and slapped his ass. Frank screamed in pain.  
"Jackass." Frank muttered. I glared at the floor as I listened to Frank's footsteps fade away. Shit.


End file.
